Love Hurts
by Nic.93
Summary: A person can only take so much, right? On the cusp of finally overcoming a previous abusive relationship Bella lets herself believe in good men, only to wake up and have that dream ripped from her. A dreams better than no dream at all, right? M/OOC/AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! It's been a while. A long while, but to get things going again I thought I'd hammer out this little puppy. It's not long at all, 4-5 chapters and there's no epi. Well, there isn't one written yet. Depending on reception that could change. I hope enjoy this. Please, share the love if you do and RnR. Thanks for reading though, I do love it. **

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I didn't like being out by myself. It always felt likes eyes were constantly on me. Watching me. Like every move that I made was being monitored for some reason or another, and I didn't enjoy. I hated it.

Why wasn't Emmett here? All I wanted to do was go out and buy me a cup of coffee. It didn't seem like that much of a big deal. The coffee shop was down three flights of stairs and then another hundred meter walk if I turned right…it was three hundred meters and around a bend if I turned left.

I only know this because I asked Alice to map it out for me. She always asked me to join her for coffee, but I never could get much further than the lobby of our building before we left. She didn't seem bothered by my inability to go places and I know that I shouldn't have been really either, but I couldn't help it.

At least, that's what I was supposed to believe now.

_It's not my fault. It's not my fault. I was a victim._

The words still burned to say, but non-the-less, I could deliver them quickly. I didn't wholly believe them, but I could say them out loud with enough conviction to convince both my father and my overbearing brother…I think my therapist believed me for my sake. Little else.

Who wants to fix someone who's too broken to fight back, right?

At the bottom of the stairs, I silently smiled to myself. I probably looked half crazed, but getting this far was big. Yes, my headphones were in and turned up way beyond the point of comfortable and I was wrapped in probably a few too many layers for August, but I was trying m damnedest to cover myself.

_Maybe that's why everyone kept staring?_

I kept my head down as I headed toward the coffee shop. Few people walked past me, it was after all seven at night. I didn't actually want a coffee. I did however feel like I needed to do something, so I'd be able to tell Em and Ally that I'd managed to do something, even if it was as trivial as going to the coffee shop by myself on a Wednesday evening.

I was probably ten paces from my destination when I'd met a massive wall of, person. My eyes were probably a mile wide as I fought to right myself in order to stand, or apologise, or flee. I all but ripped the headphones out of my ears when I could see his lips moving, but I couldn't make out what he was trying to say.

"Sorry. So sorry—I wasn't watching." I rushed out in a small voice as the man kept talking. I knew now that he was a man, because I finally turned to look at the human road block I'd unknowingly ploughed into.

"Hey," he answered in a soothing voice. I could see his eyes wandering over my body. I knew that I shouldn't have appreciated the act, but I did. It seemed as though he was looking over me, to make sure that I was okay. The same way that Emmett would if I took a spill. "Are you hurt?"

His voice was soft, almost coddling. Similar, maybe to how a stranger would coo to a small child in distress.

_Did that make me a small child in distress, or just like one?_

"No," I eventually answered as I finally righted myself. Even risen to full height this man dwarfed me. Not quite to the extent of my brother, who I still believe is part sasquatch, near enough. "I'm not hurt. Thank you."

The man looked confused as he cast me another cursory glance. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. Thank you for asking." I answered confused at his insistence. Why on earth did he care so much about the wellbeing of a stranger that ploughed into him?

"Where were you headed?" he asked quickly. I couldn't help but turn to him with a cocked eyebrow. _Why did he care? _"Sorry, I just feel rude for knocking you down. I was just coming for a coffee. If that's where you were headed, I'd love to buy you a cup."

Oh. "That's really not necessary. I'm fine. Your fine. No blood no foul." I answered as I tried to head towards the coffee shop. Ten more paces, that's all I had left.

"It's the least I could do." He said softly, his voice incessantly sweet and oddly irresistible.

"Will you let me say no?" I asked. Realising with a start that I may have been flirting.

"No. Not really." He answered softly as he gestured for me to proceed ahead of him.

I counted off the last of my steps with a smile as my unknown coffee friend opened the door for me. I smiled at him and stepped into the small coffee shop. The whole place was filled with the heady scent of coffee, an aroma I'd unknowingly missed. I stood in line, basking in the ambience and gazing over the menu. Coffee was so difficult to order. I was going to get herbal tea. Less hassle, I'd ask if they had peppermint, if not, jasmine or chamomile would suffice.

When it was my turn I ordered my tea quickly, my companion doing so too as he paid for both of our orders. He bought a couple of cookies too, which I thought was cute as he lead us to a quiet table in the back to wait for our drinks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get to introduce myself earlier. I'm Edward." I smiled. He looked like an Edward. He carried that self-assured, old-soul kind of air about him. The name just seemed fitting, he also had the kind of classic handsomeness about him. I don't know. I think Alice would have described him as 'fuckable'. I guess he was, or appeared to be, but I wasn't about to ask him.

"I'm Bella."

He smiled in response to my name, and I actually half expected a line of some sort. It seemed to be the going thing with men, but instead he tore into his cookie. My whole body flushed when he moaned, I'd not thought a sexual thought about a man in quite a long time, but right now, I was undeniably aroused.

"Sorry." He muffled around a bite of cookie, his eyes searching my face.

I shook off his apology. Who was I to deny him the enjoyment of his cookie.

"You should try that." He gestured to the oversized cookie in the plate. "It's really good."

Despite m penchant for processed foods, I bit into the cookie a moan of my own slipping forth. I covered my mouth quickly as I slowly chewed and swallowed my cookie. "It really is good."

He just nodded his head, his eyes a little big as he did so.

"I'm sorry about before, Edward." He looked at me a little bit confused. "You know, the running into you thing. It was an accident."

"I can't blame you for a mistake that was entirely my own. Maybe I should apologise to you, Bella? Unless you'd rather agree to disagree and let the issue rest."

No one was really hurt, so I shrugged and just drop the issue. Normally I don't think I would have, but something about him had me believing he'd have won an argument we got into.

We talked about trivial things; our jobs, siblings, family, movies until we'd both finished our cookies and drinks. I hadn't even realised where the time had gone. It was nearly nine. We'd been talking for nearly two hours.

"Hey," Edward said as we got to the door, "I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye to you. Would you like to maybe go for a bite to eat." I shook my head. I didn't really want to try and eat anywhere this late at night, because the only place we'd have to really eat would be diner or fast food outlet and 'd had my fill of processed foods for the evening.

"Oh, uh—," he started and I realised he thought I'd turned him down.

"How about we go up to my apartment. I have a lot of food made and no one around to eat it. I've got wine too, red and white. There's probably beer too and spirits at my brother's if that's more your thing." I probably sounded like a bumbling fool, but I really did enjoy Edward's company and it didn't feel like everyone was looking at me when I was with him.

I felt normal. I liked normal, it wasn't something I felt often. But I liked it.

"I'd like that." He smiled, once again gesturing for me to lead the way.

I didn't count the paces back to my apartment, I walked with my head up and I may have even been smiling. I liked Edward's company. He was probably the first person I'd ever spoken to who didn't know everything that I'd been through. He didn't know the damage my body had suffered, or my mind. I was just a girl. A normal girl.

Dinner was lovely. I wasn't lying when I told him that I had a lot of food. Emmett wanted to make sure that I ate, so he and Alice went to town before they had to leave town. Edward and I settled for the chicken and Broccoli casserole—it was my favourite and Edward seemed to enjoy it too.

We talked more over dinner as he and I opened up a bottle of white wine. At some point we'd raided Emmett's fridge and started on some harder liquor. It was just so easy to be with Edward and talk to him. I learned more about his job and how he worked with his brother. I told him a tiny bit about my life, but I talked mostly of the plans I had for my life now.

He seemed genuinely interested, offering to help me meet the right people if he knew any. He did, by the sounds of things have a lot of contacts. Never in my life had I met a man who wanted to help me out of the goodness of his heart before—well, that wasn't family.

The way he was so kind and adoring, he felt like a dream. The more I drank with him, talked with him, snuggled with him. The less I cared about tomorrow, because right now he was with me.

He was kind of sweet. He made my body sing a song unsung for so long and I loved it. He made me feel pretty and good. Unmarred by a destructive relationship…and I was drunk. He may have been too, but he was just so sweet. Too sweet.

Maybe it was the way the evening was always headed—to the bedroom, but you know what, I didn't care.

I loved the way he caressed my name. I loved the way his fingers ghosted along my body, gently removing my clothes as they went. I loved the feel of his body against me, inside me. I even loved the way he let me be in the moment, he let me feel his body, he let me move with him.

So good. Too good. I wondered if he was good at everything. He seemed the type, but then he changed his movements and that train of thought was gone by way as a moan.

"Baby, you…feel…so good." He purred in my ear, his body moving in a glorious dance with mine as we climbed toward a higher heaven.

His arms we wrapped around me tightly, mine wrapped around him as my nails scrapped up and down the solid ridges of his back, before they settled in his hair that was beyond tousled, glowing a coppery bronze in the muted light through the canopy curtains.

His lips were steadfast as they ghosted down the valley of my breasts, coating my skin with the love of his words, painting my body blush pink as all the blood rushed to the surface.

Our bodies continued to move until finally with his final thrust my body peaked as a new spot was reached, I screamed his name shouting to the heavens the name of the man who claimed me, who loved me. He uttered my name in a growl as he shook, his body softening as he slumped into mine, his weight adding to his reality.

Everything about Edward felt like a dream. He just seemed so perfect. Stunning. It felt too good being with him. '

Come morning light, I hated that I was right.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, there was no trace of any man, let alone Edward. The dishes were done and put away. The coffee timer was on and a fresh put was brewed. The mess we'd left on the coffee table was cleaned away…had I dreamed him? Imagined him? I was naked too, but maybe I just drank myself into a stupor?

Maybe I needed help again.

I don't want to go back though.

Edward? Edward…?

Edward who?

_Two Days later…_

"Bella, open your door, Now! You've in there for far too long! Sis, come on. Alice is on her way. I'm breaking down this door if it's not open by the time she gets here!" Yelled Emmett, his fists incessantly banging on my bedroom door.

His raucous knocking had already shaken photos off on to the floor, two frames having had shattered; one being a photo of Em and I, the other being of a cat my mom told me had gone to a better place—meaning she'd hit it with her car and wanted to replace it, again. I think two cats facing the same too short life was enough. I considered a dog, but it would need to be a Saint Bernard or something to be big enough for her not to run it over.

I loved Emmett, he was my brother, the best of the best, but he couldn't help me. No one could. They'd tried and failed…clearly.

That was a lie, one person could, but I decided he was a dream. He'd swept in on the wing of a prayer and left without a trace. Was I a whore for not even knowing his name? Some would argue that 'yes, sleeping with a man without even truly knowing who he was, would indeed deem me a slut,' while small few would argue 'anonymity was a treasure'. Very mixed opinions.

But I did kind of know him, didn't I?

My room was my private sanctuary, when the dream of a bronze haired god faded, it seemed my only refuge. The only space I had in which I could be, because I didn't plan on explaining to my brother that at twenty five, I was indeed sexually active in the room across the hall from his—when he bothered to come home to his little sister and her best friend. It would shatter his thoughts of his baby sister.

I didn't know how seriously to take his threats, he probably believed I couldn't hear him and was listening to my ipod or something—that was actually the plan. Hide out in here for as long as I needed to, and just be.

Fate had other plans when my brother got home to tell me of his engagement, six days before I wanted him to be home—only three days after my _dream._ In those six days, I could have come to terms with things, got over that damn man I'd dreamed of and just continued to live my life.

No, I had three to wallow about what could have been before my brother started going all silverback on me and trying to bust down my door. Now don't get me wrong, a well-placed kick he would get that door open, but at the moment he was trying to get me to come out on my own so he wouldn't have to replace my bedroom door.

I didn't want to leave this peace. I enjoyed it. Pure me time. I could cry and wallow and snack on the small stash of granola bars and a couple of bottles of water I had lying around in my room. This was what I planned on doing for six more days, but now Emmett is back, he's pulling out the big guns and I didn't want to have to deal with all of this shit. It made me wish that my room had the fire exit outside the window, so I could at least get out of the house, but that would have been too much. At least I had a bathroom, to myself. If I locked myself in there would he still come barging through the door?

_Probably, to make sure I didn't overdose or trip and fall or something…_

"Bella, its Alice, in thirty seconds, this door is going to open, whether it's by you or your brother. Consider yourself warned!" said a worked up sprite as she started her count down, I didn't fear her as much as I should of, and maybe being in my room for three days straight had turned me stir crazy, but either way, my body felt as though there was nothing left for me to lose, so there was no point in trying to save things that aren't there.

Her countdown continued, and as she reach her 'five…four…three…' I rolled over, slipped head phones into my ears and blared the first song on my phone and turned my back toward the door. I slowed the rise and fall of my chest, trying to make it look like I was sleeping as my room vibrated, my door coming off its hinge as Alice and Emmett broke their way into my room.

I wasn't sure how long I could actually feign sleep. It grew increasingly harder as my brother and best friend both climbed onto my bed, Alice curling her body around mine, much like _he_, had once done and Emmett sat at my feet, slipping them into his lap as he played with his hands in his lap—I think. They whispered conversation between each other, asking the same questions about my wellbeing—I was shocked they hadn't noticed the lowered volume of my music:

'_how long has she been like this?'_

'_why is she like this?'_

'_When did you see her last?'_

'_Do you think something happened to her when we were gone?'_

'_I can't afford to lose her again, Alice. Do you think, that maybe, '__**its**__' happening again?'_ I could hear Emmett's pain, in a way it was my pain too.

The _'It'_ they spoke of, was the most traumatic for my brother—poor guy.They thought I may have been relapsing, falling into an emotional anorexia contributed to by a traumatic event. My brother thought I was exiling myself to my room because thinking about _him_—a different him from Dreamward—turned me off from life. Silly boy.

I locked myself in my room to think, but I wouldn't tell him that, though I hoped they wouldn't call my therapist. One bout of rehab is one too many, and if I were to go in again, I would probably find a way to neck myself with my bed sheets—and actually follow through.

I wanted to fight my cause, give them the answers that would get them the hell out of my room, but right now. It was easier to feel comforted by them, sure there was this pretty pink elephant in the room that seemed to have a strangle hold on all of the space in this room, the one that knew I was awake, but I didn't really want to talk.

'_Nah, look, there is some water on her desk and look at in her bin, she's been eating. Maybe she's sick.' _I was happy Alice was exceptionally perceptive, or vigilant.

'_Yeah, well, even for Bella, after everything she's been through she's never been one for locking herself in her room. Why would she now?" _My brother, my protector sounded so broken; but maybe he wasn't the only one? Why did I have to imagine someone so great only to remove him from my life?

'_Do you think, maybe, well do you think she was taken advantage of again? What if she went out, and ended up out of it again? I wish I could kill that mutt you know, he took her for everything she was, made her think she wasn't good enough for him. He wasn't good enough for her! He broke her!' _I wanted to cry, but that would have been silly.

Jacob, the very reason I starved myself and started using. He abused my mind, affected my body and hurt my relationships. He took me for everything I tried to give him, but my love wasn't enough, he kept taking. I was never enough. At one hundred pounds, I was five foot four and I was too big for him. He wanted me smaller, he wanted me weak and he wanted to dominate.

Weighing less than some adolescents he managed to manipulate me, tame me, he'd called it to the point where I could refuse him nothing, even though every fibre of my being had screamed at me to do so.

I spent five years of my life with him, five years too many according to the friends of mine I had pushed away. Some came back, the ones who knew who was pulling the strings. Others felt upset for my dismissal of their warnings and blamed me. Either way it was all my fault.

He got me pregnant which was my fault. I didn't tell him to use a condom. He blamed me too when he beat me so bad I miscarried, there were no complications, but I didn't want to ever feel that kind of pain again. When he blamed me for being a slut, when he blamed me for being an incompetent parent, when he blamed me for pushing him so far he had no choice but to hit me and Emmett heard him, the truth fell upon me.

My brother the hero he was pulled him from me, Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend who had heard everything he'd said about me just held me as I cried. Emmett beat him relentlessly as the dopey mutt taunted and prodded my brother, well until he lost consciousness as I did too.

'_Give her credit. Even if she went out, she's not exactly comfortable around strangers. She wouldn't do that Emmett. She's probably coming down with something and she's sleeping it off. Come on, let's let her sleep."_

'_You're sure?'_ My brother, the loudest person and biggest I'd ever met, had never sounded so small before.

'_There are a million things I'm uncertain of, Bella's not one of them. Come on, it's late anyway. We'll talk to her in the morning.' _

Emmett's lips brushed my forehead before he turned and left the room, Alice was still curled around my body as I heard Emmett leave. _'Bella, I know you're awake, and when he leaves tomorrow morning for the gym, you will tell me. Sleep well." _Alice laughed as she mussed my hair before closing the door as she walked out of the room. It wasn't long before I genuinely feel into slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

_Two months later_

My stomach was constantly in knots lately, this damn cold weather making me sick. Alice had me rugged up constantly, which made me immediately nauseous and keeping food down was becoming a constant endeavour.

"Look, maybe you should just go to the doctor. My dad's on clinic rounds, so if you want he can do the check up for you." Alice tried again, I'd thrown up again, and I could tell that Alice was getting increasingly worried. I really didn't like doctors, they reminded me so much of what I had already been through once.

"Alice…I—I don't know…" I hadn't actually stepped foot inside anything like a hospital since Charlie—Police Chief father—brought me home from rehab. I didn't ever want to have to go again. The last time I had actually walked out of a hospital, it was after I had been taken by Alice for bleeding. I'd been beaten on my torso and thighs so she didn't realise was wrong. They called him when I'd checked in, he was known as the father and after tests had found I'd miscarried, one thing lead to another and I left that hospital sedated and in the back of the ambulance on my way to eight months of hard therapy, strict food watch and embarrassing confessions. My whole world was rocked, my defensives were broken down and rebuilt. My brother, my best friend and my father were all I had.

"I know you haven't been there, but Bella, its Carlisle. You're like another daughter for him Bella, he'll make sure nothing goes wrong and Esme will be happy to hear about you from someone other than me. Please, Bella. You're getting sick and I don't think some old wives, chicken soup and a lot of sleep kind of remedy is going to help you." She played her parents cards when she was serious, but could I really do this?

"Bella, please?" her eyes were pleading as she rubbed my back with the hand that wasn't currently holding my hair back from my face as she sat with me on the cold hard tiles of my bathroom floor.

"Fine, can you get me something to wear then, I want to have a shower before we go anywhere." I'd submitted and decided to go with here, she was being very serious and if this would give her a peace of mind, I would go; even if they had to sedate me to get me through the doors.

We were sitting in Alice's car forty minutes later, waiting outside of the hospital. I watched as people trickled in and came out in varied emotional states. Some happy, some smiling, some on crutches, in wheel chairs, carrying a baby, a little distressed; either way, they were leaving.

"Carlisle is expecting you in twenty minutes, Bella. Please, you can do this." I held my breath as I opened the door, stepping out Alice was at my side instantly, wrapping her hand around mine as she held tight. She didn't want me running, I didn't know why she thought I would run. I had enough trouble walking.

"I'm not going to run, Alice." I tried to say it seriously, but it came out as a whisper. _I won't run. I won't run._

"I know, you're not lying; but you're still scared." She squeezed my hand a little tighter as she spoke, before she pulled me the rest of the way, not pausing until we were in front of Carlisle's office.

"Carlisle?" Alice, knocked.

"Come in, Alice." He said as Alice stepped through the door, knocking only for politeness rather than permission.

"So, Alice tells me you've been down with the flu for a few weeks now?"

I rolled my eyes, smiling shyly. Carlisle was a great man, but he was really just telling me what Alice told him, knowing full well that Alice definitely didn't tell me. "That's what she said."

"Okay, well, let's take you next door into the exam room, what do you say?" I just smiled as Carlisle lead the way into his exam room through the side door. He ran a couple of tests, had me breathe and cough, checked my blood pressure, weight and even drilled Alice about what I had been eating. She was quick to tell him, reciting from memory everything I'd eaten, even the things I forgot. Carlisle got very panicked though, when Alice mentioned I couldn't keep a lot down. He left the room, telling me he was going to personally check everything, he feared I may be under nourished and more than likely dehydrated from my inability to keep food down.

I don't really know what else he may have looked for, but when he returned his face was a ghastly white wash, all colour having had drained from his face. He looked like he'd had all of the blood drained from his face, sucked out, or however, he was ghostly.

"Carlisle, is everything—am I…um, okay?" I worried, the colour still hadn't actually returned to his face.

"Bella, I…I don't know how to tell you this…" he started, only to pause. His eyes travelled from Alice, to me and then back to Alice. "Alice, could you please step next door for a second. I need to speak to Bella."

"Carlisle, you can't seriously think that—,"

"Mary Alice Cullen, I'm not asking you." Carlisle had never used his authoritative with Alice before. Alice would normally just comply, any time she didn't they reached a compromise, but now…?

"Alice, I'll be fine." I tried to placate as she just looked at me, Alice glared at her father who didn't even flinch as she slammed the door behind herself. Carlisle followed her locking the door, Alice could be very cunning, and I wouldn't put eaves dropping past her.

"Bella, when was the last time you had unprotected, sexual intercourse." I froze, I couldn't be. I never—but it was a—once…?

Just once.

One person.

The man of my dreams.

The man I had thought was too perfect, too kind, too beautiful to be real could have been real, to have loved my body the way he had; but Carlisle wouldn't lie to me.

"Um…two months ago, I guess." I whispered.

"You know what I'm going to tell you, don't you?" he replied, stoic.

"I'm, I…yes. I think I do."

"You're pregnant, Bella. I need you to know the options that are available. I'm sure you understand everything that would be involved if you were to keep the child," I just nodded my head, there was a lot that was involved; financially, physically, emotionally.

Raising a child, wasn't a walk in the park. "But you also need to understand, that now as your doctor and not just as someone who loves you, these options are not the easiest to consider, but they need to be voiced. There is also adoption and also abortion. Neither are without complications or consequences. I don't expect you to make any decision right now, but know that Esme and I, Alice, Emmett and Charlie, we'll stand by you regardless." Carlisle breathed a small sigh when he finished, before grabbing my hands and looking deeply into my eyes. His eyes looked so familiar, piercing and penetrating with small specs of gold. Pretty.

I didn't even hesitate when I answered Carlisle, I didn't even think I would be able to conceive again after what had happened to me, but I was carrying a miracle, I wouldn't give that up for the world, even if it came to me wrapped in a gold ribbon. "I'm keeping it."

"Have you put any thought into this, Bella?" he asked seriously.

"Carlisle, I've lost a child before. I will not now, nor ever willingly give up or destroy any child of mine. I didn't even think I could conceive again."

"There is nothing stopping you from conceiving Bella, there were no complications."

"But I had no one, I have no one; that's why this baby is a miracle to me. I know, that it may be a delusion of mine on some level, but love made him. I'll keep him and I'll raise him."

"Yes, I won't call my baby an 'it'. He needs to get here too, so he can meet his Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme." He smiled at me, before it faded and he just looked at me.

"I'll have to test the baby, make sure it's healthy. Do you have much knowledge on the fathers' history, Bella?" I baulked, knowledge?

I didn't even have his last name! I knew his size, his height, the colour of his eyes and hair; but his name was a mystery to me.

I knew he worked as a musicology teacher and partnered in a record company with his brother-in-law, but family history and hereditary medical problems? I couldn't know these.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, I don't know." I felt so small, like maybe this miracle was too good to be true. What if he had a bad history and my baby suffered for it? I'd hate myself if that happened. I had to find him, could I go to his work? Would they let me in?

"Bella, are you with this man?" Carlisle questioned, noticing my state of unease.

"No."

"Do you have this man's contact number?"

"No."

"Will you tell him that he's a father?" I looked up then, my eyes no longer glued to Carlisle's shoes.

_Will I find a way to tell him?_

"Yes."

"That'a girl, Bella. Now, I think you might want to tell his Aunty and Uncle, don't you?" Carlisle hugged me again, as he walked us both toward his office, he was quick to unlock the door and walk us into the room. Alice was pulling a god father as she sat in Carlisle's high-back office chair. She'd pulled the blinds as the computer screen cast a dull glow and an odd contrast to her raven hair and pale complexion.

After rehashing every miniscule detail with Alice about me being pregnant, she was quick to make Carlisle refer us to an OB/GYN and set us up for my first check-up. We could pretty safely guess that I was no more than eight weeks along, so Carlisle got me started on prenatal vitamins—which he insisted he buy, he also told me there wasn't a lot that he could do for my morning sickness, but as my body adapted more to the new hormone levels it should get better…hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, Alice, I'm just going to go for a drive, I shouldn't be too long." I smiled. We'd gone for my check up yesterday. I was currently about eight weeks technically—but they counted two week prior to conception so they had me at ten weeks (but I preferred my timeline better)—pregnant and at this current time in my pregnancy nothing seemed out of the normal. I even started gaining a tiny bit of weight, though I had a while before I should start looking for a bump. Though, Alice, insisted she could see one.

"Sure, want me to come with? We can stop at the mall and look at some baby stuff?" she offered, practically singing.

"Uh, no thank you. I shouldn't be too long. I've got my phone." I waved, before she called back.

"I might call Jasper over, take your time!" I was definitely going to do that now.

I was now parked out the front of the studio, he'd told me he'd partnered in—Hale-Cullen. It made me wonder which one he was, Hale or Cullen? How would he react? There were so many things I had to consider. I think the worst part was not knowing; I was going to raise my baby regardless, but I couldn't imagine how much easier it could have been if my baby had a father.

Eventually I got out of my car and walked toward the front of the building, this particular one didn't look too big, but that was because it was their first and smallest studio. They had two others, each bigger than the last before he opened his headquarters that was being run in New York, by one of the apprentices he had working under him when he opened this one. He was only thirty, too. Apparently success was in his jeans—his genes too.

"Can I help ya' ma'am?" came a striking blonde in the most charming southern drawl.

"Um…" I blushed furiously as I tried to avoid his gaze.

"I noticed you've been standing here for a while, did you want to see someone, possibly about recording?" I shook my head, he seemed oddly familiar. I was too nervous to look up at him again, but there was something about him that reminded me oddly of…

"Jasper!" I smiled, stupidly looking up as recognition dawned.

"Uh, can I help you?"

"Sorry, you're Alice's Jasper?"

"Bella?"

"Yes, hi. It's nice to meet you, finally. Alice told me she was going to ring you to do something around our apartment, did she end up getting a hold of you?" I greeted.

He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah. I was headed there now actually, do you mind?" he asked gesturing behind me.

"No, don't let me hold you up. Does, um…Edward work here?"

"Cullen, you know him? The same Edward I know? Six' two, constantly brooding? Crazy reddish hair?" Dreamy eyes. Amazing physique. Body like a runner.

"Sounds about right. Is um…he upstairs?" My nerves were back as my eyes skirted back down to the floor, Jasper just laughed.

"Yeah, you're in luck too, our secretary is on break so she'll be locked in the ladies room for half an hour or so. Head straight up to the third floor, skip the reception desk and knock on the double doors at the end of the hall. He'll think you're me and will say something obscene followed by enter. I'll see you around, Bella. It was nice to finally meet you." I just waved shyly before following his instructions for word before ending up in front of two huge double doors.

I noticed, that much like the rest of the décor, it was dark and moody. The walls were red and the panelling and skirting was so dark it was almost back. Records lined some walls, magazines racks, each showcasing an artist or band I assumed was signed to the company and other walls were filled with pictures of the staff.

I smiled as I noticed Edward and Jasper amongst them, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the door hand raised, fist clenched. I held my breath as I knocked, I had no choice and I closed my eyes.

"Two minute man, I see. Come on in, Jazzy baby." I giggled as I pushed the hulking doors open.

"Did you have to bring, Alice with you, God, Jasper." Edward sighed, before finally spinning around in his chair, as soon as his eyes fell on mine, he froze.

"Bella?" he whispered, the room just quiet enough for me to hear him.

"Yes." He was up so fast, I'd have blinked and missed it, before he was pulling me into a scalding hug, his arms enveloping my whole body. The second I felt his arms around me, I cried. Crocodile tears welled and flowed and I just sobbed into his chest.

"Bella, why did you push me away? I was so scared for you. You kept crying, I tried to comfort you. You screamed at me not to touch you. Walking out that door was the darkest kind of blasphemy, to see you so broken, so small, but you were yelling so much for me to leave." I shook my head so hard. I pushed him away. I was the reason he wasn't there when I woke up.

"I—I didn't mean too. I would have been asleep, Edward. You have no idea how much it hurt me to be alone when I woke up. I thought it wasn't real. I'd still be thinking that." I paused, knowing if we didn't stop we might be repeating that weekend prematurely.

"I don't understand, Bella." I sighed, my voice a little rough from crying.

"Let's sit down, please?" He nodded his head before taking my hand and leading me toward a chaise leather lounge tucked away next to a huge class window, that was frosted.

"Edward, there are things that have happened to me in my life, that once you knew, you'd understand my reaction that night; you need to understand that what I tell you now, I don't want it to affect the way you see me. Can you try and promise me that please?"

"Whatever it is, please, just tell me." I held my breath as I looked into his emerald eyes once again. The emerald surrounded by small flecks of gold. I leaned forward and kissed his lips, just to say that I got to kiss him one more time, I'm sure I shocked him as I pulled away, but as soon as I started speaking, I think he understood; and as I spoke, the emotion in his face grew.

He reacted in ways I didn't think he would. I thought he'd run, he'd scream, he'd kick me out on my ass before I even had the chance to tell him he was expecting; but he sat and listened, his eyes a wash with anger and fear, compassion and protection. He looked like he wanted to protect someone: but who? himself or me?

"How could anyone do that to any human being, but to you Bella, that is unforgivable. I'm sickened just thinking about someone hurting you Bella."

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me, Edward; but that isn't all I need to tell you." I didn't pause, I also didn't pull away when I started telling him about my previous pregnancy, my miscarriage and what Jake did to me. He growled under his breath and kissed the top of my head when I started to finally cry over my lost baby—the first time in a couple of years, but I could feel the ease in his body when I mentioned Jacob being in jail. I was actually beginning to feel better about everything, and it was the first time in a while that that was the case.

"How could you be so strong after having had gone through all of that?" he asked, his arms still wrapped around me as I now sat in his lap.

"Because I made a promise to myself when I was in rehab and therapy; I promised that I would never let that happen to me, I would never let anyone dictate how I should live my life and I promised to never lose a child again."

He kissed me quickly, chastely on the lips before continuing, "how can you be so brave, Bella? I'd have given up, so many times over if I were you. To have the odds stacked so against you."

"I knew that there came a time in everyone's life when you needed to be strong enough just to see the whole day through; and I'm not saying I didn't try to kill myself. I did, many times, but I knew there were people, who stuck by me when I didn't even know I needed help, and for them I got better. For them and because of them, I live my life."

"I'm glad." Edward and I just sat together for a while, time tolling on, neither of us paying attention to it, I'd found him, he was real; but I needed to tell him.

"Edward?" I questioned, breaking the quiet calm and silence we'd immersed ourselves in.

"I need to tell you something." He froze momentarily, what could he be afraid of? Then I realised, the things I'd told him thus far weren't exactly dinner table topics, they were bare and raw, emotionally tolling.

"What is it? You can tell me anything, but I seriously hope there isn't anything else that has happened in your past, I'd die hearing it." I just shook my head.

"You remember that night, when I accidently sent you packing?" he nodded his head, but I continued quickly, trying to stop him from stopping me at this point—the point of no return, "well, I can imagine we both had amazing times, it's just, and I don't know how to put this after everything else I've thrust upon you, but I'm pregnant, and please before you try and jump down my throat and cry it's impossible or it's not yours, I can tell you and you know all the reasons why, but you are definitely the father because you were the first man I'd slept with since the incident." His body so quickly had turned from flesh to stone, his stance fell rigid as he literally froze; I was shocked though, as I made to stand, animation returned as he held me closer to him, not letting me leave the circle of his embrace.

"We're pregnant?" he seemed to be playing with the very thought of it himself. His eyes animating as he continued to ponder.

"_You're pregnant." "I'm going to be a dad." "We're going to have a baby."_

"We're going to be parents, Bella." He said, finally speaking to me.

"Well, yes. That's normally how these things work." I wasn't sure how to take his attitude toward this. Could he really be that happy about it?

"I'm going to have to tell my parents I'm seeing someone. I'm going to have to tell them we're expecting. How will they take this?" What? There was no anger? No rejection? No name calling? Nothing? How could he be this calm? We'd only known each other a few hours before we were dancing between the sheets, sure we'd talked, but experience alone had taught me to never just accept things…I'm sure Edward would know that much.

"Why are you so readily accepting this for what it is?" I had to know, it was to the point where not knowing was killing me.

"Because I know you enough to know that you wouldn't lie to me, not about this. You want this child, Bella. I can tell it means the world to you after what you've been through. If this is my baby, I can't just turn you away. I owe the both of you that much, I also, would love to being to do this with you. I guess we skipped a few steps, and now we'll have to learn a little bit about ourselves and each other as we go; but I'm ready to be a man, Bella. I'm ready to be a father. Everything in life happens for a reason."

"I hope you're right, Edward." I sighed, falling back into waiting arms. My hands, trailing after, Edwards, stumbled upon my still flat stomach, where they choose to rest.

"For this little one, I'm right…Bella, when can I tell my parents?" Odd. I was worried about telling Charlie and Renee, and he was looking forward to telling his parents?

"When you're ready. Can I be with you when you tell them?" Probably not the best time to meet the parents in any case, but it would be appropriate. If they had any qualms about me, I'd hear it the very minute they knew about everything and not seven months later when my feet are in stirrups and their grandchild is crowning.

"If I asked you if we could we tell them tonight, I'm supposed to go to dinner tonight, my mother and father had some news they wanted to share." It seemed like a family occasion, could I really intrude?

"Will that be fair, to your parents I mean?"

"My mother loves to entertain, besides my sister will be there and my brother in laws, please?" Was it normal to be this excited over a pregnancy so completely unplanned.

"Okay, what time is dinner?"

"Seven, I'll pick you up from your apartment at six, mom always has drinks beforehand." I just nodded my head as I realised the time, it was nearly five and it would take me at least ten minutes to get home. I needed to shower and shave! Alice, I would employ Alice to help me dress, she'd be all too willing. I'd ask Rose, but she bailed on Alice's plans because she had to do something for her brother.

"I'll see you later, Bella," Edward, waved after kissing me softly on the forehead before he closed my door. I didn't know what to expect when I started out my day, but this, well this was definitely, nowhere near my expectations.

"Later."

I hesitated outside of my own apartment, ten minutes later when I finally arrived back home. If Alice and Jasper were still here, did I really want to find out what they were doing? Luckily for me I was under a time crunch so really my decision was made, I stepped into the only to see a note had been left on an end table.

_Going out tonight with Jasper, sorry if I spoiled your plans, Bella. _

_If you need me I'm be at Carlisle and Esme's._

_Love, Alice._

Well I didn't have to worry about Jasper's activities with my best friend, but now I also had nothing to wear, well I had a lot to wear, Alice's closet was always open to me. I had no idea what to wear, was this a formal thing so I'd need a dress, or was it casual and I could wear jeans. Would it be the kind of evening where Alice would have forced me into heels? I needed Alice or Rose and all I had was Bella.

I ran into Alice's room looking for something, anything that looked semi-casual? Her closet was luckily in perfect order. Shoes along the bottom, dresses on one side, shirts on the other, coats in the middle. It looked like her dream kind of closet and it probably was.

From there I grabbed a pair of white jeans, a silk top—blue, midnight maybe? And grey coat thing. After a record time shower I pulled on Alice's jeans, realising too late I'd probably grabbed of her tighter pairs, the shirt fit easily enough. It was long a loose, though the bust was cupped making my breasts look oddly ample, before it flowed. The jacket was a business jacket, it was tight fitting at the waist and flared slightly at the hips. With half hour gone just by showering and dressing I stood in front of my mirror contemplating what to do with my hair.

I wasn't much of a stylist and a lot of the things I tried to do to my hair failed. I really didn't have time to fail, so I just pulled it back into a pony tail and tried to mimic Alice's make up tips. I stopped putting eyes shadow on when I nearly poked my eye out, I only finished putting on the mascara because I grabbed Alice's waterproof one and I didn't have time to clean my face for a second time. I settled on a cherry chapstick and decided I wasn't going to play with fire anymore—and I only had five minutes to spare, time I spent filling one of Alice's less gigantic purses with the contents of mine.

I had literally just sat down when there was a knock on my door, in a huff I ran to it, only to see my dreams on the other side. Edward, wearing dark grey pants and white button smiled as I opened the door. He looked stunning and I had to stop just to look at him for a little while.

"You look beautiful, Bella." I blushed crimson, before I stuck on a pair of flats next to the door.

"You look nice too, thank you." I eventually replied.

"Are you ready to go?" I just nodded my head and took he offered hand as he lead me down the stairs. He was tentative as he helped me down the stairs, could he possibly remember how clumsy I could be? I suppose I was rather drunk last time we stumbled around my apartment, I knew now that if I hadn't been he wouldn't have been able to touch me with a four foot pole before I screamed.

The drive to Edward's parents' house was quiet and familiar, I noted road signs and exits, and knew I'd driven them too. From the passenger seat of Edward's ridiculously well-kept Volvo—something, I knew where we were going, or what was in this direction. Everything clicked into place when we pulled of onto a narrow winding driveway, that most people—unless they knew it was there would miss.

Still, though, knowing this evening was going to get very, very interesting., I held my peace, there was already going to be a lot of news to come. Edward pulled up next to a very familiar yellow Porsche, parked next to an also very familiar red BMW. The whole family was here. I couldn't be sure who was going to be more thoroughly surprised tonight, Esme and Carlisle when they find out about Edward and I, or the rest of the gang when they find out Edward and I are a plus one.

"Bella, there's no need to be nervous. My parents will love you, they'll love us." Edward soothed as he misinterpreted my silence as I gazed at the grand white Victorian styled house in front of me. I'd only been here a hand full of times, normally when I did come it was a quick greeting of Esme and Carlisle before being towed toward the guest house where Alice would have prepared an array of activities for us to do. I'd know Alice since I was ten and that was always how we were, now though, for the first time I would see the whole house in its grandeur, with a few bumps along the way.

"I'm not nervous, not really. Um, are we going to go inside?" like a Band-Aid right, you do it fast and it won't be as bad? But, Emmett's going to be there, that's what worried me the most. Charlie and Renee I can placate, sort of, Emmett was going to be a lot harder though.

"You're sure about this, my sister can be a little overwhelming?" I laughed a little, Alice overwhelming? Definitely?

I also knew that technically, Edward wasn't Alice's brother. They were cousins. When we were younger, I'd asked about Edward. Why I never saw him, why he was so quiet, Alice explained him to me.

He was adopted by Carlisle and Esme when he was five, his parents—Carlisle's older brother, were very bad to him. Esme saw how thin and timid Edward was and called child services—he'd been verbally and emotionally abused. Alice wasn't actually even born at that point, but Esme had told her. When she decided they were old enough to know the truth. Edward joined the family, but after Alice was born he felt out of place, he feared he'd get sent away because they'd had a child that wasn't broken.

Poor little Edward, bless his soul, had been so used to being second place to the every whim of his biological parents, even at five, that when a sister came into the mix, he did everything she asked because he didn't want to get beaten. Even things like makeovers, because he thought it would make Alice love him more. It was such an odd thing, for Edward to feel loved and unconditionally, that he didn't trust people, that's why I never met him and only to finally meet him and have it be completely by accident. Edward felt sorry for me, yet his life wasn't exactly sunshine and lollipops either; we were definitely a rather doomed pair.

"Let's go. We've got an interesting night ahead, for the both of us and I think we should just do it. What do you think?"

"Okay, we'll tell them once everyone is seated. Now my sister in-law will be here with her fiancé, my brother-in law, well not technically but he may as well be, will be here and obviously my sister and my parents. I'll introduce you when we get inside." Edward quickly rounded my door, he seemed to be going over a little mantra in his head, which actually had me giggling as we crossed the path and climbed the stairs up to the porch. Edward was hesitant to knock which brought me just doing it myself, something I was used to, though my forwardness did shock me.

We waited a few seconds before Carlisle opened the door, a smile on his face as he saw me. "Bella, dear, how are you? Please come on in, and who's that with you—," his faced when he saw Edward and I, hands laced together, was something out of a novel. His eyes bugged, his jaw dropped and his face was a white wash. It would have been comical, if I hadn't feared that kind of reception.

"Carlisle, is everything ok—Bella, how are you dear? And who's that with—Edward?!" I could feel Edward getting a little uncomfortable with the situation, he didn't know I knew his family or that his sister happened to be my best friend, or that if we had met ten years ago, I'd have never made the mistake that was Jacob; but I wouldn't tell him that.

"_Bella, how do you know my parents?" _Edward whispered in my ear as his parents continued to stare at the two of us. I had to get on my tip toes to tell him.

"_Bella Swan, Alice's best friend. I thought you being a Cullen was a coincidence, until you brought me here. I didn't even click when I met Jasper earlier."_ He seemed to just shake his head at the thought of it all. I would have too. Could the world really be that small? Apparently.

"Hello, I was in the middle of something. This person better be the Queen, for you two to be acting so crazy and don't think I've forgotten about today either Carlisle!" Alice ranted before freezing up with her parents. Before muttering, "I need a drink!" and walking back to where she came from. Luckily though her appearance seemed to have pulled her parents from their frozen states as Carlisle and Esme ushered us inside, I was shocked when they pulled us upstairs toward Carlisle's study.

"Carlisle, does Esme know yet?" I asked as we were offered seats, which we took quickly.

"No, it was your news to tell. I was waiting for you to come after your _meeting_ this week." That made sense.

"I don't know how to explain this, it's actually not that easy, but what we're about to share Esme is rather life changing." I started, though is sounded more like some great reveal of superpowers or something.

"Just tell me please, there is obviously something going on right now, and if I'm being honest, it's started to eat away my patience." That was fair.

"Well, back in February, the holiday Emmett went on with Rose, the eight day of that, Valentine's trip Alice was on with Jasper, I went out by myself to get a cup of coffee. The first time in a while, only I bumped into Edward ten paces from the coffee shop. He offered to buy me a coffee, then he bought me a cookie too. We talked a lot, a couple of hours passed. I has hungry so I asked him up for some dinner. We had wine with our dinner, a couple of beers at one point I think and eventually we managed tequila…and as his parents I'll stop there, but uh, well we're pregnant." Esme's jaw hit the floor as Carlisle rubbed the bridge of his nose.

So much happened in a week.

"I'm going to be—Edward you're. A baby?" Esme voiced in a small voice, she sounded full of wonderment.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me the father was Edward when I asked you about it?" Carlisle asked, clearly a little disgruntled.

"I didn't know your, Edward, was the same as my Edward. I hadn't met him until that night."

"I'm shocked you could have been so careless son." Carlisle frowned, and that's the thing. He wasn't careless and I'd been on the pill to regulate my cycle, the trauma had messed me up and it was necessary.

"I was Carlisle, Bella told me that night she was on the pill, but still I used a condom. We were so careful; still though, these things happen, don't they?" I'd never been a part of such a small number before. 99.99% of people can effectively evade the transmission of STD's and STI's and pregnancy and Edward and I manage to be a part of the 0.001 % of people who manage to get pregnant after having sex one night—saying once would be a lie, there were many rounds before we finally passed out.

"Everything happens for a reason, Carlisle, I'm sure this is no exception." I said trying to be reasonable, I truly believed in some way that was true.

"Yes, I guess. I want to talk more about this, but right now, I think you two have news to share with everyone downstairs, hopefully before Alice does. Dinner will be ready at seven." That was a dismissal if I'd ever heard one, so Edward and I quickly left the room and moved into the living room where everyone was sitting around with drinks and talking between themselves. Alice seemed to be shooting vodka down, which was going to be a problem for Jasper if he couldn't get her chasing them with water.

"He's not, is he, Bella?" Alice asked as she looked up at the two of us, our hands were still together, her head dropped back into her lap which shocked me, before she went for another shot of vodka.

The whole room fell silent as we baulked at Alice, Jasper seemed unsure as to what to do, but quickly he decided to cut her off as he grabbed for the bottle. She didn't fight him, but she still didn't raise her eyes to meet mine.

"Bella, are you going to introduce me?" Emmett asked, reminding me that both he and Rosalie were in the room.

"I'm sure you two have met, but this is Edward, my uh—Edward?" What was he, My baby daddy? My boyfriend? Was he even mine?

"Well, bro, what are your intentions with my little sister?" Emmett cracked his knuckles as he got up and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, effectively pulling me into his side and away from Edward—real stealthy.

"I really care for her, she's my world." I blushed and swooned, Emmett grunted, didn't expect that did you smart ass.

"Look, Emmett" I said, shrugging off his arm and stepping back into Edward's arms, "we came here tonight to tell you all something, we don't quite know how you'll take the news so we'd be happier if you were all sitting down." Emmett looked at me like I'd grown another head, but he did take his seat next to Rosalie. "Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, most of you know I don't sugar coat or beat around the bush, so I won't—mostly because I can't. Edward and I are having a baby." The whole room fell silent, until Alice screamed.

"Finally!" I looked at her now like she'd just grown three feet in the space of a second.

"You—what?! You knocked up my little sister!" Oh shit!

"Shut up, Emmett!" Rosalie warned making me thank the man and woman who put her on this earth, because if there was one person Emmett would listen to, it was Rosalie. Just as Emmett went to say something else Rosalie had stood up, grabbed him by the curls at the nape of his neck and pulled him so he was sitting down next to her, and she was absolutely livid. Hard to believe I used to hate the way she was with him, now though, I'd never been happier.

"What are you on, Alice?" Edward asked with Emmett effectively shut up.

"For years I tried to get the two of you to meet, but you wouldn't step foot out of your room when Bella was over so I always took her to the guest house and then you two get together on your own, Bella, why didn't you tell me you were seeing Edward. How long has it been now, you can't keep secrets, and now you two are expecting. I'm so happy. So, so happy. Is that why you were so upset for those few weeks a couple of months back. I remember Edward was upset back then too, but now you're here and you're happy and Aunty Alice is excited for him to get here."

"_Him?" _Edward whispered, _'later', _I tried to explain quickly and he smiled nodding his head.

"I take it you've heard the news?" Carlisle and Esme said as they finally came into the room.

With the exception of Emmett everyone seemed pretty happy and congratulated us, Emmett opted to say nothing, but continued into the dining room as Esme called dinner ready. As we got through dinner everything seemed strained. Emmett wouldn't speak to me, Rosalie was trying to apologise with her eyes and Alice was shooting off questions left, right and centre about how long we'd been together, how we managed to keep everything quiet—Edward and I were trying to find a way to tell her that we were in early days but the hope and happiness in her eyes, stopped us. We'd find a way to tell her one day.


	5. Chapter 5

_Two and a half months later(About eighteen weeks pregnant)_

Today was the day, dooms day. I had to tell my parents, I had to explain everything and I really hoped they weren't going to be too disappointed in me. As it was I was a week away from moving in with Edward, our lease was a month away from ending and people had pretty much settled into homes with their partners. Rose and Emmett had practically been living together since they got engaged and Alice decided it was time she and Jasper went to the next level in their relationship and she finally accepted his invitation to move in with him. So this was fast, and I still hadn't actually been able to sleep in a bed with Edward yet, not without waking up crying, but now, he didn't leave when I told him too, he stayed and he whispered sweet nothings in my ear until I fell back asleep in his arms. Some mornings I'd wake up and he'd be there, other mornings I'd have a note on my pillow telling me he'd have breakfast waiting for us or that he'd gone to work, but there was pastry or something in the kitchen.

He hadn't met Charlie or Renee yet, and we had so much that we had to explain to them, but I hoped that with Charlie loving the Cullen family as much as he does, he'd hopefully love the fact that I had fallen in love with Edward and that we were happy and about to have a baby.

I didn't know actually when it finally happened, but I did fall in love with Edward. I was still too scared to tell him, there was a part of me, a small but still existent part scared me, and that had me fearing he would leave me. He would see me for what I saw myself as and would realise that I wasn't good enough for him; but every time I would bring that up, he would laugh and tell me he loved me period. I was afraid to tell him, but he wasn't scared to tell me, and sometimes, when he did, it made me feel great. It made me wish I had the strength to tell him the way I felt too; I knew who I had to blame for that too, I was happy he was in jail, he deserved to be there.

"Baby, what do you think I should wear?" Edward asked as he stood in the door of his walk in wardrobe, he was holding up a handful of different colour button downs, and different types of pants—cargo pants, jeans, his work trousers. He looked frustrated and his hair was messier than normal, probably from his knack of habitually running his hands through his hair when he was frustrated.

"Nothing fancy, Edward. So anything you would wear to work, put back." I laughed as I watched him sort through the clothes in his hand before disappearing with a significantly smaller set of options. "okay, now think about the weather." Considering it was April the weather was particularly cold so he got rid of his cargo pants next and was left with three different pairs of jeans, a small number in the colossal wardrobe he actually had.

"What colour jeans are you going to wear?" he asked me, the question striking me as strange, but this worried Edward was a new Edward I was just being introduced to.

"Blue? What colour are these, oh dark blue." He looked toward me, eyes the elasticised waist jeans Alice gave me, dark blue, just like the pair he was now shoving his feet into.

"You know we don't have to match, right?" he threw his head back in a deep laugh as picked an emerald green button down out of the few he kept hold of and buttoned it up before hanging the other ones up where there was free space.

"Yes, I do know that, I just so happen to really like that colour on you and thought it would go better with my shirt. Bella, how do you think your parents will take the news?" I looked at him now, all seriousness returned.

"Well, I think me being in a relationship will be easier for them to accept then them becoming grandparents in what is it now, five months? But they love Alice and your parents and they love everything they've done for me, so you know, let's pray they love you too." He just smiled, not believing for one second this could go well.

"Come on, grab your coat, it's just like a Band aid remember?" I joked.

"Bella, you went into my parents' home knowing they already knew—well Carlisle did at least, I'm going in blindly."

"Don't worry so much. You're my baby daddy, my boyfriend and my life, if they're not happy we'll leave. Does that make you feel better?"

"Yes, it does." He kissed my forehead before he walked us out, helping me into my jacket and scarf before we locked up and hopped into his car. He made me sell mine, and kind of gave me his to use temporarily, that is until he found one he thought would be more suitable for the four of us, because as it goes, we were now expecting twins. Not a total spanner in the plans we hadn't quite laid out, but it was a shock to both of us, neither of us actually having had twins in either of our family histories, and to think, we'd used protection.

"Wait, do you have the photos?" Edward asked as I quickly shuffled through my purse, "yeah," I smiled as we drove off back toward the town, to my childhood home, to see my parents, to break the most life changing news they were ever going to hear from me.

"Bella, we weren't expecting you." Renee said as she answered the door, she saw Edward next and smiled quickly. "We also didn't know you were bringing a guest." Her eyes literally scanned him from head to toe where she paused a little too long on his crotch, without having been near it anytime recently, but from memory he was definitely well endowed.

"Yeah, sorry, mom." I apologised before kissing my mom on the cheek, she came to then and stepped to the side, letting Edward and I through the door, she took our coats, and thanks to a little wardrobe make over from Alice for moments like these, my now showing bump was able to adequately hidden, unless she hugged me. Something I was trying to prevent until I told my parents.

"_What's going on Neè?" _I heard Charlie call from his favourite recliner in front of his flat screen.

"It's 'me' dad, and I've got someone I want you to meet." Charlie grunted so we decided to go to him. Renee walked in front of me as Edward trailed, his hand wrapped firmly around mine.

"Hey, kid."

"Hey, dad."

"So, Charlie, Bella bought a boy home." Renee announced before taking a seat on the arm chair, a clear tactic that she hoped would put Edward at ease, I took a seat next to Edward on the love seat after kissing Charlie hello on his forehead.

"So, who's the shmuck?" Charlie started rudely,

"Dad, Mom, this is my boyfriend, Edward. Edward this is my mom and dad, Mrs Swan and Chief Swan." Edward stood up to officially greet my parents, he held his hand out first to my father, "Hello, Sir. I'm Edward Cullen, I believe you know my father and sister. Carlisle and Alice Cullen."

"You're Cullen's other kid? Huh, call me Charlie, Alice does."

"Edward, how come we've never met you before now?" Renee asked as Charlie looked at her with an amused expression.

"Bella and I have been trying to see where this relationship was heading, you didn't really want to share the news until we thought we had something real, its understandable circumstances granted." Forever suave Edward played my parents something I hoped would really work in his favour.

"Where do you see your relationship heading?" I wondered when Charlie's integration instinct would make an appearance and I couldn't blame him, Edward was the first man to even draw my eye after everything.

"Bella is my life, Chief. I try to be the best man I can be to give her anything and everything she deserves." Renee seemed happy by the idea, Charlie seemed to need a little more warming up to. God, how was he going to take our news?

"Do you have a steady job?" I was surprised Edward didn't decide to turn tail and run at that point, it was something I would have done if Esme had interrogated me the way Charlie was slowly starting to grill Edward.

"Yes, I am partnered in a music production company, Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and I have three studios and offices. One in New York, one in L.A and we have our current base in Port Angeles, but we'll probably shift it to either New York or L.A depending on the how where our Managers in training prefer. So, I guess we're doing pretty well." Modesty was a common trait I'd seen in the Cullen's. All of them, in some way or form were all very well accomplished. Alice was designing currently under some Australian woman who specialises in beading, lace and French things, which absolutely caught Alice's eye, so on top of her trust fund which was well and truly inflated she was seeing six figures annually. Edward's success, though the way he lived you wouldn't actually realise it was getting him seven figures on a bad year and he'd made eight the year before he expanded into the L.A scene.

"Music. I hear that's not the most reliable of industries to work in."

"Well as an artist the industry can be tough—Jasper and I as producers have a little easier, we just have the job of selling something that already exists to a new market, but Jasper and I seemed to have been able to get our feet in right, our clients are doing reasonably well and we hope they continue to do so." I wish I could have spoken with such confidence.

"So you think you could support my daughter financially?" if only he knew how much he'd be willing to give me and our child.

"Yes, sir. I think it's not presumptuous of me to say that I could support Bella, even if by choice she did not work I could support her, though I know, Bella would be very bored if that were the case." Charlie grunted, hopefully having had finally been convinced this wasn't some crush, we now had to get down to business.

"Mom, Dad, now that twenty questions is finally over, I have to tell you something." I paused, it was pointless and dramatic, but I needed to gather my thoughts—living together first, "I'm moving in with Edward at his house, its twenty minutes from here, about five minutes from Esme and Carlisle and maybe ten minutes from Emmett." I was seriously considering just stopping there wishing them good night and leaving but I couldn't let Edward deal with the Spanish inquisition and then come back. "and we're pregnant twins due hopefully depending on how long I manage to carry them in November you're going to be grandparents." I didn't breathe, I didn't think, the words kind of just spewed from my mouth and now my parents were just looking at me, slack jawed. I felt like screaming 'Surprise!' or 'Congratulations!' but it seemed like overkill.

"I see you two have a lot to think about and I have things to sort out quickly, it was great to see you, but we really need to go. I love you and call me." I said before I ran out of the house, I didn't need them coming to their senses, or out of their shock while Edward was in the house, I needed them to think things through and try and come to terms. They'd ring me soon and I'd talk to them when they did, but right now, everything would just have to be.

"Is that want you meant when you said Band aid, because if so, Love, I don't want you applying any bandages to my wounds." Edward joked as he pulled out of my parents drive way and drove us home.

"Laugh it up, we'll have explaining to do when they call." His face went ash white and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Call?"

I shook my head again before answering him, I'd never, ever seen Edward this worried, it was comical to watch, "They'll call, they'll want answers; but my father can't shoot you through the phone, so that will be fine, we'll probably just have a lot of questions to answer."


	6. Chapter 6

_***Twenty three weeks_

_For a month, _four and half weeks, more specifically Edward and I waited for the dreaded call from my parents. Even Emmett got a call from them before we did. We were worried, very worried, that they may have been offended by the offhanded way I announced my pregnancy but even still they could have called, Renée normally—if we pretended this was a normal situation—would have called to yell expletives and curses she would have only picked up from my father.

My parents had both just stopped talking to me; which was odd. I didn't exactly pay homage on a regular basis, but I did try and speak to them biweekly and if I couldn't Emmett always filled them in about what I was up to, but they didn't even ask, if I wasn't such a house I would have driven out to see them without Edward, but what was I kidding, I wouldn't put myself through that and I needed Edward too much to put him through that either. It was an odd predicament, and I had no idea what to do about it.

Alice tried to play interference and talk to my parents about things, the way she knew them of course, but they weren't too interested and took to questioning her about her relationship with Jasper. Alice was no fool and knew a distraction when it presented itself, but she didn't want to force topics on them they may not have been ready for. I was sad though, when my father asked to meet Jasper, he wanted to meet the man willing to be with a girl he saw as another daughter to him, the more girlie, out spoken and fashion forward one. Charlie was more interested in whether or not Edward could pay the bills, he was actually interested in meeting Jasper as a potential almost son in law. My father hated me for finding love, I was sure of it, and my mother hated me for not opening up to her about it; we all know I was too shy to open up to her about Jacob and look what happened there.

"Should I call them? Tell them I look like I ate a beach ball? Tell them their grandkids are stubborn and won't show the technician their bits? Should I tell Renee how much I want her in the delivery room with? Edward, why won't they talk to me?" I was sobbing by the time I'd finished speaking. Edward was quick to wrap his arms around me and rub my lower back as he calmed me down, this wasn't the first time I'd been like this with him, I'd worried a lot when I didn't receive a call by the next week and as the days tolled on, my worry grew.

"Bella, maybe they just need time to gather their thoughts. You told them a lot that night, and though you may be twenty five, strong, beautiful and confidant, after the things you've gone through in your life, does it shock you that your parents can't shake the image of you being their baby from their minds? They love you, baby, just as much as we love our babies, they'll come around. It's instinctual, they'll come around. Now, you need to dry your tears, if you still want to come in and meet _Ellen,_ with metoday. Are you sure you're okay to fly with me to L.A to go to her studio?" Be happy, Bella, you were going to go and meet Ellen DeGeneres today with Edward, because my man made the top 100 list of _People's_ most wealthy under thirty. They had him listed as unattached, a bachelor, which he was at the time, and I was going along to change that for all of those unlucky girls out there.

I had been forced to go to the doctor to ensure I was able to fly and that the twins were healthy. Edward and I actually hope the twins would be more cooperative, but they weren't and as frustrated as it was it made me laugh, knowing Edward and I were going to have our hand full with two _very _stubborn children.

But Edward was right, we had to leave to make our plane, as it was we were walking off the tarmac and straight into the studio, so we had each worn travelling clothes and had packed appropriate outfits for on the show, because that's what we were instructed to do. I was just so happy to see Edward so excited, something that happened whenever he talked about the success of his clients or even music in general. He was definitely in the right career.

"_I'm not sure if any of you have picked up this magazine lately_, People, _magazine. On the front cover we have Mister Edward Cullen, number one on People's most successful men under thirty. Well, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Edward Cullen."_ Ellen introduced as I watched a stage hand walk Edward out toward the stage, a screen was set up so I could watch everything and a stage hand sat with me to help walk me out when I was called out.

I was shocked as the crowd broke out in cheers, applauding and wolf whistle as Edward did a little jig on his way toward Ellen's couch. It was the fun side of Edward I loved to see, and it was really infectious too.

Ellen asked Edward about his work, some of his clients that he worked with personally—many of them earning cheers, she asked Edward about some of the things written along with the article—his status, etc. and after ten minutes of questions and jokes passed out between the two of them, break was called and they switched out Edward's arm chair for a loveseat, before they aired again and I was introduced.

"_Here we have Bella Swan, the lucky girl he pulled Edward Cullen off the market. Now, I believe your pregnant, or you swallowed a beach ball whole." _The crowd laughed, as I greeted Ellen and sat next to Edward.

"Yes, twins actually."

"_Wow, there are two in there, gosh. So when are the two of you due?" _

Questions and answers went back and forth before break was called again and we bid fair well temporarily. I was a little shocked when Edward and I were directed off in different green rooms, but I shrugged it off, there was always a reason for everything, right? That's what Edward had been telling me lately.

I watched as the show was called to the air again, they were having the musical item and currently, _my _Edward was sat behind a beautiful grand piano, playing the most beautiful melody I had ever heard. Tears welled as he began to sing lyrics he must have written about the night we met.

_She was a brown haired girl sitting in her own world  
A shot of vodka in her hands, her hair danced in curls  
Her eyes ember cast, lights like high beams  
Her beauty so divine, she seemed so patient  
And I wanted to make her mine_

_I wanted a night to remember  
I wanted to love her forever  
I wanted a life with you and me,  
But baby please look at me_

_She had curves that were heaven sent  
She smiled to the world, but let no one in  
She held up a mask, but her defences were thin  
I wanted her to see me, to let me be the one  
Because every little piece of me wanted to make her mine_

_I wanted a night to remember  
I wanted to love her forever  
I wanted a life with you and me,  
But baby please look at me_

_In your presence my heart skipped a beat_

_In your arms I needn't speak  
In my heart you claim all of me  
In my mind you're all I see_

_She swayed to an endless rhythm, the beating of my heart  
she started something inside of me that aches when we're apart  
I saw a future of she and I, our babies became the stars  
The beauty of her wearing my grandma's ring made joy flood my heart,  
With you I wanted everything, forever you and me_

_I wanted a night to remember  
I wanted to love her forever  
I wanted a life with you and me,  
But baby please look at me  
I wanted a night to remember  
I wanted to love her forever  
I wanted a life with you and me,  
But baby please look at me_

_She was a brown haired girl sitting in her own world  
A shot of vodka in her hands, her hair danced in curls  
Her eyes ember cast, lights like high beams  
Her beauty so divine, she seemed so patient  
and she was all mine_

_She was all mine_

A stage hand was ushering me back on the stage and I walked on confused, Ellen was quick to grab my hand and walk me over to Edward on the piano bench, after we sat down he just smiled at me.

"That was beautiful." I sobbed as Edward wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Hardly, when I have the real thing sitting beside me." He whispered back before kissing my nose.

"_Now Edward, I believe there was something you wanted to say to Bella," _Ellen stated as Edward nodded his head. I was a little confused when he went to stand, I turned around on the bench to follow his movements and practically choked on a sob as he bent down on one knee.

"Bella, I know we've done things a little out of whack, but I'm yours. Every beat of my heart, every breath that I take, they'd be nothing if you weren't here for me to share them with. Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever, will you marry me?" my mind was rejoicing, flooding with romantic words I wished I had the courage to say on television, so instead I went with the traditional.

"Yes!" he beamed a brilliant smile before slipping a small velvet box from his pocket, out of it he pulled a beautiful ring, white gold with slanted rows of diamonds on an oval face.

"_And there you have it folks, the first proposal ever to happen on Ellen DeGeneres, I hope you all had fun tonight. I'll see you all later." _The curtain fell at that point and we all walked back stage.

"_Congratulations guys, on the engagement and the babies, remember you can't return them once they get here." _We laughed along with Ellen and spoke a little more before Edward and I had to catch our flight home, Esme and Carlisle were having us all around for dinner and I sent an invitation with Emmett for them. I didn't know Edward was going to propose but tonight we'd be able to tell them all; and for the most part, if my parents did decide to come, everyone would be so happy for us, that is if they didn't already know.

"Edward, did they know you were proposing today?" I asked as we started taking off to head home.

"Yes, they did. I asked Emmett for permission, though I planned on asking the chief, Emmett was happy about, said if you said yes then he'd be fine." I smiled, and as we reached cruiser altitude I fell asleep, my head rested on Edward chest as he played with my hair, humming the tune of the song he'd sang to me.

Everyone sang their congratulations when we arrived home, complementing and quizzing all throughout drinks and dinner. Everyone was so happy and Esme seemed so proud to see her mother's ring on my finger—in her family she was the only one to have a son (kind of) and her mother saw to it that Esme gave the ring to Edward when he found his bride, and she did and she wished us great happiness on behalf of her mother, who she knew would have been so proud.

We went home that night completely blissed out and though I knew I loved Edward, so much it hurt me, I still hadn't been able to tell him, he seemed okay with just knowing the fact, but why couldn't I bring myself to tell him? Even though I knew I did on every level.


	7. Chapter 7

***_ Thirty one weeks—September (Two months to go.)_

Everything was heavy, which made everything hard and me irritable. Edward and I hadn't been living together that long and we actually didn't even sleep in the same bed yet. Edward didn't want to wake me when he left for work because sleep was so hard for me and I didn't want to wake Edward up when I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom—or screaming. It was an odd arrangement that had me in the guest bedroom down the hall, too far away from where I wanted to be.

"Hey, baby. How are they treating you today?" Edward asked as he came into my room, a tray of croissants, fruit salad and a glass of orange juice in hand, it was his normal way of greeting me in the mornings, if I wasn't sleeping, he'd leave the tray and if I was awake he'd sit next to me and read the paper while I ate; it was our morning routine and I liked it.

"They were treating me fine until they heard daddy," I grabbed his hand once he placed m tray next to me and my juice on the night stand, and placed it on my side, right where one of the babies was kicking me, "now they won't stop moving."

He radiated joy as he spoke, "They like my voice?"

"When you sang on Ellen they were practically doing a happy dance. I wouldn't mind them kicking if it meant you were the one singing." I blushed at the confession but Edward smiled and started singing me the song he'd named '_Mia Bella Vita', _my beautiful life, because that's how he saw us and the future we were building.

"Bella, I have something I want to give you, it's more a gift for the four of us, but I still wanted it to be a surprise. I know you wanted one." I looked at him puzzled. There wasn't a lot for me to want for anymore, in fact my life had never felt so complete.

"And what could you possibly give me that I don't already have?" he threw his head back in a throaty laugh, holding his finger toward me, he got up and walked back out of my room to come back in at minute later carrying a blue grey puppy; it was absolutely the most adorable thing I had ever seen, with piercing blue eyes and drooping ears and paws that looked about the same size as its head, it had a little purple ribbon on its neck which had me thinking it was a little girl.

"A puppy!" he cheered as he sat down next to me placing the puppy next to me, he quickly moved my tray and put it on the floor next to me as the puppy looked around with a dopey gaze.

"Does she have a name?" I asked as the puppy flopped its way into my lap where it stared a little puzzled at my baby bump.

"I thought you'd want to name her, love?" I looked to him sweetly, that was so sweet.

"I do, but I don't know what we should name her. Hmm…she's still looking at my belly. Do you think she knows the Bubba's are in there?" I watched as her eyes lit up and her ears lifted at the mention of Bubba's, which had me wondering. "Bubba?" her head cocked to the side, imitating a movement I'd seen Edward do, even what I thought was her eyebrow raised.

"So that's it then?" Edward asked with the cutest smile on his face.

"Yes, Bubba." She made a small little yelp before putting her nose against my belly which quickly earned her a soft kick. Edward and I laughed a little before I picked her up.

"When did you get her?" I asked, wondering how long he'd been planning this. Edward had learned a little while ago how poorly I reacted to surprising; but this one, was another one of his sweet little acts that had my heart singing his praises.

"I picked her up last night, she was in her crate in my study until you fell asleep and I pulled her into my room, she cried for hours before I let her sleep with me. She likes my pillow." He frowned tugging her ear gently, an act that earned him a soft whine.

"She did the same thing last night, I thought I was cute, she sounds like you when she does that." I shot Edward an odd look and picked up my croissant, tearing small pieces off and popping them into my mouth. I gave some to Bubba, she didn't nip my fingers when I offered and kind of licked the croissant piece from my fingers, which was cute and disturbing.

"You know she's already eaten, Bella." I smiled and nodded before feeding her another piece.

"Are you going to spoil the twins too?" he joked before pulling Bubba out of my lap and holding her on his chest as he lay back. She wriggled and whined before settling and flopping onto her paws.

"Of course not, we're going to have very down to earth kids. No matter what Aunty Alice tries to pull."

"Yeah and Bubba will be their fierce protector for when Daddy's at work, because my little girls are going to turn heads if they look like their Momma." I shook my head in reply.

"You still set on little girls?"

He tickled behind Bubba's ear before replying, "Bella I'd be happy with either really, even one of each, I just think that either way, our Bubba, is going to be one fierce little thing."

"Edward, have you seen the size of her paws, she's not going to be tiny forever. It's like when Charlie would bring home the pups and house them for a few nights before the trainers took them, they were small and floppy, but by the next time I saw them, they were no longer little."

"I love how your mind works Bella." Edward laughed before kissing me on the head. I popped my last piece of croissant in my mouth, Edward and I heard the echo of the doorbell through the second floor intercom; Edward and I looked at each other, neither of us expecting company. Edward put Bubba on the bed and helped me stand up, I was wearing cotton pants and a tank top which I saw as under dressed, Edward quickly handed me my robe. I quickly tied it at the waist before grabbing Bubba as we made our way down stairs. Edward for a change was still in his pyjamas, but he didn't seemed too fussed, it was one of our great lazy Sundays.

What we saw on the other side shocked the both of us…Renee and Charlie, each carrying huge teddy bears, stood on our door step, apologetic smiles on their faces.

"Mom. Dad. What are you two doing here?" I baulked, Bubba, who I was already seriously in love with, just sat in my arms perfectly still and perfectly silent—was she breathing?

"We shouldn't have done what we did, Bella. We're here to apologise, to get to know Edward and to hear about our first grandchildren, if you'll even let us in." I didn't hesitate as we stepped to the side to let my patents in, it was no lie that I was equally at fault in this scenario.

"Please take a seat, would you two like anything to drink?" Edward asked humbly after ushering us into the living room. The house no longer looked like a show home anymore. There were small little personal touches that we'd added over the months. My books covered his shelves, photos decked free surfaces. Mine. His. Ours. The house had a homey clutter, we'd even started baby proofing which meant changing Edwards very geometrical décor for homier furniture, which Edward insisted we do to make the space completely ours.

"Water would be fine thank you." Renee replied, Charlie agreed with her and Edward quickly disappeared; he came back quickly though, two bottles of water in his hands and a glass of orange juice for me—I'd been craving it lately, and I loved it like crazy even though it made me bloat. Edward and I took seats opposite my parents. Because this was the entertaining living room, we had two sofas opposite each other, and two arm chairs adjacent, all surrounding a coffee table, so we were able to politely speak to my parents, while still able to hold united fronts—if the need arose.

"Here, we bought these for the babies." Charlie finally started, handing over the gargantuan teddy bears. They were each at least three feet tall, one a soft green and the other a soft yellow. I guess they choose neutral colours, having not heard about the sex—something Edward and decided we'd just wait until the day to find out. Only recently did we find out that our stubborn kids were letting us have a peek, but Edward and I decided that we'd waited this long a couple more months wouldn't hurt. We'd even painted the nurseries neutral. Edward decided to give up his award room for the second nursery, and instead decided to display his accumulated awards on the book shelves.

Of course now we only had three guestrooms, which was apparently bad because it now meant if our families ever decided to have a joint stay here, someone would end up either on the fold out couch in the entertainment room, or the fold out couch in Edward's office. Neither, or so I've been told, were very comfortable.

"Thank you, they're gorgeous. If you want to have a look around later, we can put them in the nurseries?" I offered, why was I being so formal with my parents?

"We'd love that, but I think we all have some things to discuss. Firstly, I'd like to say congratulations. Really, Bella, you deserve this, finally, after everything that's happened, I'm so happy you found someone, and now you're expecting and engaged. That song was beautiful son. Also, I'm sorry. I was rude and abrupt when we met, in my defence I was a little overwhelmed, but you deserve more than the third degree Edward."

Edward held his hand out in acceptance, reaching over he grasped my fathers' hand in his, shaking it, "To be honest, Chief, I don't blame you. You don't have to apologise, it's all water under the bridge; but thank you for coming out here to do so."

Pssh. My father 'pssh'd'. "Charlie, call me Charlie." Edward just smiled in return.

Renee seemed to be going over everything she wanted to say in her head, or maybe filtering, before she finally opened her mouth, "Bella, I'm sorry we didn't call. We should have. I wanted to, but I didn't for the life of me know what to say. I wouldn't if I were you, but do you forgive me for being such a terrible mom for these last few months?"

"Of course, like Edward said water under the bridge. Now that's out of the way, lets show you the house, while I can still walk these halls." I joked. Edward helped me up, Bubba getting up from her spot on my feet and following us, as we walked my parents around the house. They smiled when they saw the nurseries, placing the respectable bears in their new homes. They seemed happy too. For us, for themselves, just happy I guess that we were able to work things out.

An hour later, after an early lunch my parents left and Edward and I went back into my room to try and finish off our lazy Sunday. Properly.


	8. Chapter 8

***_Thirty six weeks_

My parents had been incessant. I loved them to bits, but daily phone calls were too much. How many times could my mum ask the same question and expect a kind answer? Twice. By the third phone call I was jumping down my mothers' throat telling her to pick a new line or I was hanging up.

I was on bed rest, I had been on bed rest for three weeks. The babies got a bit ahead of themselves and wanted to come out too early. I went into labour and managed to dilate almost a whole centimetre before they were able to halt progress; but it lead to bed rest, very minimal movement and damned phone calls from my mother.

Alice was over a lot, she would let Bubba out, or would help her up on the bed with me, she even did what Edward did with me on Sundays, whenever I was down; she thought it cheered me up—and it did.

Edward and I had expected Bubba to become a little bit out of hand by now, but as of yet we were able to avoid damage to things; never in my life had I been happier for breeders who hand raised and potty trained, they were really a godsend.

"Bella, I think you should have a baby shower." Alice announced as she flopped down on my bed next to me. Bubba sniffed at her hair before curling up against my side and drifting off to sleep.

"Why on earth would I want something like that Alice. Edward and I don't need anything, we don't want anything, especially not a party. Besides, I'd be irritable and grumpy all day." She seemed to be considering things, but didn't voice her opinion before I stabbing pain had my breath catch—not again.

I breathed it out as best as I could and tried not to let Alice onto things, but Bubba's whine caught her attention and she could see the strain on my face.

"Is it…?" Alice asked, I nodded my head, in a flash she'd pulled at her phone and hit someone on speed dial.

"Edward, yes—no time for pleasantries, get out of whatever you're doing, Bella's going into labour." She hung up on Edward quickly and was rubbing my lower back until the contraction passed. I knew I probably had a little bit of time to wait before anything major would happen, so as I waited patiently on my bed with an anxious Bubba, Alice was like a cyclone. She grabbed the baby bags from the hall closet, my prepacked baby bag and she started picking me out an outfit to wear to the hospital.

"_Bella?!"_ I hear Edward call ten minutes later, 'My room!' I'd replied before he was at my side and kissing my forehead. Alice nodded her head when we got there and Edward took that as time to go. Edward and I knew that I wouldn't carry to full term after our earlier mishap so we'd been pretty much just waiting for this. Doctors assured us though that they would be fine to be delivered this early, in fact it was very common for twins—especially when their mothers had physically smaller frames, because there really wasn't that much room for two.

Twenty minutes later I was at the hospital, huffing and puffing my way through contractions. I was shocked at how fast they were moving. I mean on TV these things take hours, but within hour and half I had dilated a whole five centimetres, and they told me it would be ten in no time at all.

They hadn't even broken my waters yet, and it hadn't broken naturally and as I sat there huffing and puffing, I was informed they were going to try and have a natural birth, which meant I was going to have to push out two babies.

"Edward, I hate you! You dick head, this is all your fault! You and your little swimmers. They have another thing coming if they ever think they're coming anywhere near me again!" I shouted as a nurse tried to act unaffected by the outburst. Edward did, everything I shouted, every insult he took in stride and helped me breathe and push, he stroked my hair and whispered my song in my ear. He kissed away tears and gave me his hand as I cursed a blue streak and heaved a massive push, he was everything if not perfect and I was a tyrannical bitch.

"Congratulations, Momma, it's a boy." Smiled a nurse as my son was quickly placed on my chest, a towel under him as Edward was allowed to cut the cord. Seconds later he was whisked away by nurses to be cleaned and tested, but I was only half way there.

The last bit was excruciating. Pushing one out was hard, he was biggish too. Seven pound, all things considered, he'd probably have been eight or nine pound if I'd carried full term. My stomach muscles ached and my vagina felt raw and stretched and all around weird, but four and a half minutes later, another cry broke the room and our baby was born. Twin two. A healthy, six pound one ounce, baby girl.

Practically identical twins—but technically not, Seth Carlisle Cullen and Emily Alice Cullen; with brown hair, grey—but soon to be green eyes and perfect peaches and cream complexion, I finally felt whole, and I was finally able to say the words I'd been too afraid to say, the words I knew I was ready to say.

"Edward, I love you." I fell asleep after my confession, but it was the happiest state of sleep I'd ever been in.

_Four weeks later (3 ½ weeks home)_

Life after the twins birth was difficult. Sometimes the lack of sleep affected my moods beyond the normal and triggers the past traumas I'd been through. The doctors assured me that with a routine and normalisation in my sleep habits there was a chance that could pass, but I didn't truly believe them.

Shouldn't I have already been over all of that? I'd done rehab and intensive therap. Shouldn't I have been able to sleep in the same bed as my husband? I wanted to be able to do that so badly. But I just couldn't.

I thought before the babies were born that he and I had been getting somewhere, making progress. I silently hoped the progress would mean that I would be able to sleep in the same bed as my husband. But I couldn't.

I was a crying heap by the time Edward found me. He'd been checking on the twins and probably just watching them sleep. "Shhh." He cooed into my hair as he drew me into his lap. I tried to fight him, I'm not sure why, but I did.

He just took it and cooed into my hair; promising me that everything was 'okay' and that he 'loved' me. I knew he loved me. I really did, but a foreign part of me didn't trust love. The small part of me remembered how much love hurt and ruined a person. It had ruined me before.

What if he was another Jacob?

"I'm not Jacob!" Edward spat, making me shrink further into him. Normally, I'd have wanted to get away from the man yelling at me, but I didn't I burrowed into him. Ducking my head as I cried harder.

_Edward. Edward. Edward. My Fiancé. The father of my children. Not Jacob. Not Jacob._

"I won't ever hurt you, Bella. Never! You are my love and my life. Without you, I am nothing. You make me a better man. You made me a father. I would hand you the world on a platter if you'd let me Bella . I love you. Not for your past, not because of your past, but in spite of it. I would love you if you'd never have been through what you've been through and I would love you if you'd only come back half the woman I know you are. Please love, come back to me."

I don't know how long Edward just held me while I cried, but eventually, I stopped crying and just looked up at Edward. He looked so tired, content, but tired. We both were.

"Thank you." I whispered, planting a kiss on his collar bone. "I love you."

"I love you too, Bella. So much." He smiled, leaning down to brush a kiss against my forehead.

Our bubble was burst as we heard a fuss over the baby monitor. The twins were currently sleeping in the same crib, they weren't quite comfortable unless they were together, which was okay. Until one started fussing, because they normally woke their sibling; especially Seth. He was going to be a little hell raiser, I could already tell.

Edward held me chin as he looked at me, "Are you okay?" I smiled, because I liked to believe I was fine. I had too many people counting on me now to be anything else but fine.

"Yeah." He kissed my forehead as he helped me stand and lead us into the nursery. For a change Emil was the one up and kicking her feet, Seth was sound asleep, unfussed by his sister. Typical male.

Edward quickly picked up Emily and changed her diaper, before he'd even really finished she was nodding off. So Edward settled her into the crib quickly while I watched. He was so good with them. He was such a natural, that was the main reason I knew he'd be nothing like his father.

He was good. Too good.

Edward and I had a lot of demons to face, I knew that much. My demons were ever present, but I was sure Edward's were still there too. I mean, he never had closure. Ever. I did. It pained me, but I managed to testify and Jacob was going to be away for a long time, but Edward's Father. He vanished. Up and left after beating Edward's biological mother to death. He'd still not been found twenty-five years later and though we all secretly wished him dead, we couldn't bank on that.

We just didn't know. And there was nothing I feared for more than my children and as far as I knew, that man was the greatest threat out there for my whole family. Not just my babies.

* * *

_**So as is, this is the end of this story. It's completely un-beta'd. I hope you enjoyed this little ride. It was left short because there is a chance I'll come back to it, but currently, I am working on my previous stories as you may be aware and the will slowly be removed or updated until all of them have been re-edited or re-written.**_

_**If you have taken the time to review, thank you kindly. Check out my profile if you're keen to follow me.  
Peace, Love and all that Jazz.**_

_**Nic.**_


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